Exam Observations.

Next week I have my last a-level exam. It occurred to me I have sat over 40 exams in the last 4 years.
There are my coping mechanisms/thing I have observed.

1. Exam invigilators are evil.
- A personal enemy of mine (80 year old women that looks like a frog in a wig) often engage in evils competition in every exam of the last 4 years.
2. There is always one kid that is having a silent breakdown
- Acts as a good distraction of your own misfortune... i mean exam.
3. I always get the wonky table.
4. If you ask for something or complain (for example a pen or one legged chair)
you have made enemies for life out of the exam staff.
5. Resistance is futile
- you will always have a stupid song or advert jingle in you head no matter how hard you avoid them.
6. Don't worry about exams...there is life before so there's gonna be life if you fail.Its not the end of the world.
7. Do not eat before if like me you have a tendency to vomit if you eat in the morning.
8. Play Snog marry avoid with your self to avoid dying of boredom
- eg pick three people in the hall who would you snog marry etc...
9. Or just fantasize of yourself on a beach ...with johnny depp...nak....

PDA`s

PDA`s
or public displays of affection.
Dear couples...

Disgusting. I`m sorry did I ask to see you and your partner slobbering all over each other in the manner of two snails fighting to the death.
But even worse..

The noises!!

Oh the noises.... The slurps and sucks and the snorts. Like pigs snuffling for truffles.

Look dude its a tongue ..its not attacking you neither do you need to sit at a bus stop with them dancing together.

Yours sincerely
Cringing member of the public.

Coffee shops.

Ahhh coffee shops. The Backbone ...NAY....an integral part of the rom-com.

The crowed room...the smoky aroma...the brooding men reading yellowing penguin classics (which just happen to be your favourite one!).

The perfect scene.


BUT WAIT!!!
there not like that are they.

I wholeheartedly blame rom-coms for deceiving us and giving us false hope. Take my local coffeshop.

Expectation:

Reality:

 

 

How can I meet Tall dark handsome brooding Italian men In somewhere such as this!?!?!?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Picture credits: 1. Google images.

2.www.scotsman.co.uk

 

 

 

 

Escalators

When walking up an escalator I often think "is this how Usain Bolt feels all the time".

People.

People annoy me.


People on the bus. People in shops. People on Facebook.People taking pictures of themselves every time they go to the bathroom....

just people.

People most annoy me when in queues. Its seems that it a sort of personality vacuum. Every single person acts as if the person behind them is some sort of serial ninja type queue jumper! Then there's always the one that gets competitive and begins JOSTLING....yes jostling. In a 21st century Tesco express as if this is some sort of biblical battle ground where not only is your life but the very honour of you family is at stake...the reputations of your future offspring....affecting everything ever from this point onwards..

.....Not that there are 3 people at ten at night buying tango and bread at a Tesco's metro.

Pah! People.......